Alot have happen>>>>>>

Well last sunday i was suppose to work at ritz carlton hotel as a photographer for prostage wedding event but instead i became a co-ordinator. Hais alot to do and i got less sitting and resting. GOt one time the dancers only have 5-15 min to change up for their second performance but instead they took about 25 min and i contact them but to but their walkie talkie bat was weak. So the host was asking me to hurry up so i went out of the ballroom and went to look for them and there they are waiting for the lift. Haiss so many thing to remember, handle and do. First timer duhh. So something happen to those who are working that day at sembawang. Two of the prostage were slacking and we get complain. The kompang also cockup and was ask to compensate the money that is $500. Haiss doing this job is no easy task. SO i joined the tarian. Waiting for training cant wait. I can catch dance step fast becos i am a fast learner. But i feel bad because i was not there to cheer up this person bcos i was working. This person suffers when i meet the person at the meeting point i get to say hello and the persom eyes was different and the person didnt act like the person always do. The one think that i feel bad about myself is not to be able to cheer him up and also to say goodbye to the person. Haiissss i hope you're okay. Zul sry for not being there aite. THen today b4 i want to use this comp i have a very weird feeling. DOnt know wat is it. So i hope to have good futures and also hope that everyone will pass their N-LVL.

Nothing Better TO do..

Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful.

Sing to me the song of the stars.
Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again.
When it feels like my dreams are so far.
Sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again.

SOme quotes and lyrics from the story A Walk To Remember. It is such a beautiful story and i watched it over and over again but once every year bcos the movie remind me of something. Hope u guys also have watch it b4.

I read other people blogs and well some of the blogs are dealing with love life, Friendship and some just got nothing better to post.

This week is a buzy week for me.

I hope zul is not mad at me for suddenly changing my mind about the job.

This sunday is gonna a big day for me.

Everyone seem to be bz with their own things now.

N-Lvl result coming out on the 18 of December. (Mr Mustafa told me just now)

Today there is a school open house but i am not going to take care of my sick mother.

Some people having to much problem and some people dont.

Trying for interview with fee, zul and az at IKEA.

Is, mimi and kencek interview for jobs at bukit timah IKEA but from wat i know there is no IKEA at bukit timah but there is only COURTS.

Lucks to all those who just gone for any interview.

Hope u'll get the job.

I'm Lost rite now.

I feel like having a tarot card or read fate thingy.

It is kinda cool.

I dont believe it but i just wanna do it for fun.

Could this get any worser.

There's a song that's inside of my soul.
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I'm awake in the infinite cold.
But you sing to me over and over and over again.

Hope that everything could be like old times again.

That could happen if there is only a miracle.

Secretsss

I cant believe it when i hear it. Is it the truth but I truly believe this person. Guess secrets are not meant to be secrets bcos one day it will be unveiled by some ppl or themselves. Wah i know all my family and friends secrets and life but they dont know mine. My family doesnt know me when i am outside and my friends even you who are reading dont know me when i am at home. My personality changes when i am at home and outside with friends. Totally different personality. Guess now all of you are truly curious how do i live my life. My parents and siblings dont know my friends outside all the smokers, Naughty and more is just a secret of my own and nobody knows and my family thinks that i have very little friends. Its true tat i know how to handle my secret very well. Everything tat i say and do to you guys is planned b4 hand. Like if u ask this, well i got the answer in my brain. So sometime what i may say is fake and some may be true remember this some only is true but who know. Only i knoe. Well where did i get all my money from? How i got money? do i work? just started working also... So that all is my secret. No one knows me better and and most of all no one know all and everything about me. All of u only know not even half about me i think u guys only know about a quarter. This message to everyone of u either very close to mee or my enemy. No one knows the real me that is the real deal. Try asking me but you will or never get the true answer. Maybe only............

Guess my LIFE is MYSTERIOUS........

Something that i am feeling right now

This is real, This is me
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now
Gonna let the light, shine on me
Now I've found, who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I want to be
This is me

Amin's and Kencek's b'dae outing/camping and something

Well the b'dae outing was great and i survive both night and morning but some didnt. Hahaha. Here is the full story. So first i went to azeana's place to collect the tent. wait a minute b4 going there i bake 26 choc cupcakes and they are superb and delicious. So then after collecting the tents i went over to Zul's crip to put my stuff at his home. Then went to Frisay Prayers and gosh we were so late haiss... See ah Zul who ask to shower very late. haha. Then after that went back to his crips to collect my item and his item and also to wait for him to slice the sushi. So slow. Then Mimi came up and them sat with him. Talk rubbish with him. Then after that called evon asking her who will be comin so she told me that some girls are comin. So went to 505 and then sat there till 5 while the time was 3 when i was at 505. So early right. So waited and waited. Oh i forget about my hp batt. Well i charge it from 11.30 - 12.30 but my batt is still missing one bar and after the prayers it only left with 2 bars haiss.. So back to the story. Waited for so long for all of them.... Wow to my surprise the no of people is more than i expected and the food not enough. SO collected $2 from everybody to buy food and drinks. So walk to bb mrt and then straight to pasir ris and our campsite. Haisss my group were lost at pasir ris just dont know how to get to our pit haha. So Is's group reach already but didnt saw my group so they thought they are at the wrong place and then they move somewhere then after a shortwhile my group arrive and then we set the tent. Soon Is's group also arrive and get rdy the fishing equipment. My group handle tent and food while Is's Group handle the fishing. So at nite they go fishing until the next morning and the survivor is only me, kencek, Aizat and firdaus. So little ppl well i was bored to death actually. Then at 5 am kencek wanted to buy rokok but never get pass haha. So the others was like asking me to buy but i didnt haha. SO kencek went to mac while we sit at a table at other place. Waited for kencek to bring food. And u know wat we 4 share a mcmufin and i guess i get the smaller portion. Well that all i have to tell. wait there is more. Never mind next time i tell u guys.hahaha.

Guess my LIFE can be too SECRETIVE and too SUSPICIOUS........

Roses picture taken on my own

my cousin Wedding

Congratz to both the bride and the groom. Fizah & Airi. The wedding was great and this is only two of the picture there will be more soon. I will post about more of it on the next post....

Today jalan jalan / A day at Azeana crips

Well today was fun Just finish watching HSM3 at the movie with Zul, Kenchik and Joe. It is a good movie but my bladder spoil the ending hais. So ppl are playing MERCUN under my block rite now and it is so noisy becos it sounded like gun shot. Those ppl are brainless. Should report the police or not??? So back to the movie. Well everyone was late except for me bcos i am the  first one to reach there eventhough i am from harbourfront doing secret job down there, I still manage to be first bcos i took taxi ahaha. Well we had fun watching ppl trying to win either a psp, nokia music xpress hp or a nintendo ds and boy kenchik was funny bcos everything that boy lose he will like go insane until he is stress out so to prevent that we went out early. So the movie was great.

So now another story, this took place last wk at az crips. Me, zul and fee went to az crips to watch mirrors but as usual me and zul are late ahah. So i then reach az home and i gave them two bags of popcorn and four chocolate and sufirah like it. So actually zul cant make it but after i psycho him he made it haah. I am a psychopatic person hehehe. So then we watch the movie and i think it is slow and so i didnt concentrate onthe talking part but i concentrate on the scary part. So az mom went out and now the place was like zul's. He conquered every pillows and the glasses filled with coke on the table he finish it. I was like damn it and fee was like y my drink is finish and zul will go ur glass has a leak i think. So after watching mirrors got nothing to do so played poker card and zul and az taught me and fee to play some games. SO i played it like a idiot bcos dont know how to play it rite.   So after that we all go out of house and oh yah b4 i forget i noticed that when az mom is at home zul is very quiet and well behave but when az mom is out, he started his madness. So where was i oh yah zul had to go to gym with the guys and as for me i went to mac with fee and az. wow and i was full after comin out of mac ahha. I am talkative though at mac. haiss. 

YUMA outing... Swimming

Pic of me

A picture i found in Dilla's blog. Hey dilla dont mind me takin it from ur blog aite. Wat again i look like a caucasion guy. hahaha. See her blog. But nice picture of me though. ahah

Hari Raya Outing 2nd day

Just a picture on the 2nd day of YUMA raye outing. More update to be posted soon aite...

Prostage work first day...

The picture above the picture of my first day of work with prostage and let me tell u all that it is very tiring bcos we did the hidang hais.. SO many complain. I tell u all more on the next post...

Chupke Chupke Pyaar Hai.......

Well Chupke Chupke Pyaar Hai was a blockbuster but the ending is not happy because the conflict in the middle of the story lead to their separation. All of them separated from each other. Meer, Sharma, Rahul and Rina went their separate ways and lead their own life happily and some not to happy. The story ended with tears on everyone. The story was a hit in the bollywood industry haha. So that is all hope u enjoy the movie.........

Feelings

Losing A Piece Of My Soul

I came to you the hour I was in pain
Looking for answers, I cried to you in vain.

I shared the many skeletons hiding in my heart,
I knew then you'd be my friend,
I knew it from the start.

Troubles ran like rivers, flowing through my life,
You picked the pieces up and help me through my strife.

When home wasn't home to me no more,
You opened up your heart, and opened up the door.

We cried into night until the early morn.
We solaced each other's pain and shared our many thorns.

As time flew, the air grew thick,
I saw our friendship fading, and my heart grew sick.

The day had arrived,
When it was time to say goodbye.

Now I sit alone,
reminiscing the past I'd blown.


Betrayal

by Dan McDonald
An echo fades into the night,
an eerie mournful sound.
A shooting star disappears from sight,
and I crumble to the ground.
There is no life within this garden;
my sobs are the only sound.
I have poisoned the honeyed fountain
where your love could be found.

Dazed, I stare at the stars above,
my grieving howls fill the night!
Unintended betrayal of love
has hidden you from my sight.
I remember how it used to be
when we shared our fears and delights.
You are a treasured friend to me.
How can I make things right?

Feeling afraid, cold and lonely,
I long to tell you how I feel,
but you don’t want to hear me.
The pain for you is much too real.
Should I back away and build a wall
and block away how I feel?
Or, should I give you a call?
We both need some time to heal.

An echo fades into the night
as our friendship disappears.
How do I know what is right?
How can I ease my fears?
If I do call you again,
would the old wounds reappear?
I can’t stand to cause you pain.
Hurting you again is my worst fear!

Starting a new beginning....

Hello there again my name is Usamah. I'm starting a new life starting from rite now that is the 11th October, 11.08pm. Now i really need new identity, new Life, new clothes and new personality. Changing everything. Hmmmm. Where should I start???? Okay nevermind I figure this out.

This week gonna be so tiring because it YUMA raya outing week. FOURTY people will be tagging along and about THIRTY-SEVEN house to visit wow... I really dont know how to plan these raya outing bcos i never done so but if organising Concert or Events i can do it but this outing is different need to plan. Haiisss. So tired man. U know wat i'm not gonna plan it just follow the flow this monday and tuesday. Maybe this wed got NCC training so i think it will be the time that is will go out to school to watch the training. I also want to get the consent forms for the camp too. I cant wait for my first day of work so Zul please hurry up and ask your brother about the jobs... Well maybe this saturday will be the first day i will be working with Prostage network. So it is time to get new black smart pants bcos i think the attire will be chef costumes. Well after seeing the prostage blog, I found that the dancetroupe dancestep is very easy. Just like learning 1,2,3. But it is good. I really wanna a part time job so that i could earn money to buy new stuff bcos i really need new clothes..

This new me is really hard. I hope the result are good. Actually rite i am not turning to good to bad. If u really look at me properly and if u notice actually i'am turning into a better person by helping another person to change to good. Of course it is hard to notice it but i notice it during the Puasa month. I kept thinking when i look at them that whether i did this all or is it somebody else. I think that my good aura is really strong. Haisss. THis is the way i like it.

Everyone changing from bad to good. But me i think i change for the better. It depends on the people who judge my changes whether it is good or bad.

Nevermind i dont want to be sad again. So lets change the song and change to a new beginning...

So I would like to say Welcome to My New Life..............

Game over... It is the end.....

Here i am again....
Feeling miserable....
I would to announce the game that was started has ended....
Everything End and there is no turning back....
Well that the end of my happiness....
End of my everything....
SO i have to start all over again....
I've lost everything....
Everything i had so far is gone....
So i am turning over a new leaf....
I am really sad to know that some of my friends....
That is like my brother to me is moving to somewhere far....
Maybe i dont get to see them anymore....
Everything gonna change....
Well i miss everyone....
School have ended for some of us....
The time spend with all of you was so little....
I am not saying i regret it....
This game that is over was started by them and also ended by them....
This game of life taught me a lesson....
A lesson that i cant forget for the rest all my life....
Nobody can replace any of my friends from both clans....
I think i gonna miss both of my clans so much....
This holiday is gonna be a sad one for me....
Parting with my buddies....
I hope u guys and gerls will enjoy your holiday with your Friends....
How much more months until they move house....
I need to spend time with them until their last day here....
I feel unfair....
Reading my life is a waste of time....
My life is a piece of trash....
Cry if u want to....
But remember this i really appreciate each and everyone of you....
I dont nid any of this anymore....
Let me live in the dark....
Somewhere i am invisible....
I will be moving on to my new life....
But all the precious and happy memories i cant forget....
I may or U may have left me but....
I CANT FORGET U ALL....
All Of you have passed the game of friendships....
I have failed....
So here I say....
Thank you so much for everything and....
Sorry for everything too....
And so here i go....
With everything left behind....
Except for the memories...
Thank you.................

Another day another game another life another....Game Continuition....

Well yesterday i slept late thinking and crying all nite over things. Now i think that tonight will be another long long nite or morning. I never felt this way b4. Suffering through the nite. Telling my feelings to those who it may concern.

I said this to someone in school "I may look happy now but actually I am really very miserable and sad rite now. My face will never show my true feelings."

Now the game is progressing and the only way out is to get hurt real bad. The game of this two has started and now lets begin another game. This game is gonna be more harsher. This game is all about believing while the previous one is about LIFE. In this believing game, the one that is weak in believing is gonna be in big time trouble. Well if u are mad at this game, Dont be mad at me bcoz I didn't plan all this, The game just move on its own and it follow the will. More games to be played and there is more players that is still waiting in line for their turns. The table will turn completely.

P.S. This game is not only gonna hrt others but also it is gonna hurt me more.....

Disappointed, Sad of something..(changes) Something to talk about.. The game for two....

This is gonna be a long post about my long previous post about changes and here it is this is my previous post that was posted in 12/04/08
"Hey welcome again, Todae i am going to post about the topic changes. I hope u have been following my post
until date. I think u also have read about the post at fathin blog . She post something tat actually
affect me a little bit. Well after one of my friend, athirah, read the blog she felt sad well i also feel
that way too but i must control my emotion. But the fact is that i still cant accept when she said about
changes. She said that i have change big time. Well actually i don't change at all.
I just do wat i must do that is choosing the right friend.
The true me have never change i just Dont want to be weak but i guess
physically weak i think so but i am still mentally strong and one more
thing i always put other
people in front of me That is my true self and i just discover it when
i had a msn conversation with athirah so thanks alot. I always been putting
others infront of me.
To me i just dont want to see my friend to get hurt I rather get punish.
So i am always protecting others but i didnt think about myself .
I like it that way.
Well everyone change when we get more mature.
I met alot of people who had change Alot.
I too have change but the friend that i have long time dont
talk to is becoz of some reasons.
Like my oldclassmate from 4A1 i really miss the old time but
time has change and i too has change.
Nobody can change time or noone can avoid changes. I dont
think that i change alot but if i did,
pls tell me what. i cant possibly be the same. I have to toughen
up myself that y i have talking
some rude words and pls dont tell me to change i am tat way.
I want to release my anger
but i just dont release my anger to anywhere but it is kept deep
in my heart until one day when
i will burst and that day is unknown. So pls dont continue to make
me angry cause my life looks
happy but i am misery inside.......

P.S.: Sry to all my friend that i have forgotten but we have to move on."

Well i feel disappointed when someone disapprove me for being someone that i truly am just disappointed. I just dont know how to react. Maybe i have crossed the line this time but someone didnt agree on my real one and someone agree on the real. I am really hurt and this time there is no turning back i nid to choose a path to follow and now wat do you think which path will i choose. Which path will i choose? I dont know. Lets wait and see who can play my game and join my game of life. Like wat i always say to friends when i fight with them "two can play the game". Well its time to begin another game between this person and that person. Its maybe me well let me tell you this game will get harder and harder and the only to way to get out of it is to break yourself into pieces. This game isnt a ordinary game but it is a game that will blow u out showing tre colours of people. Tears and blood may occur in this game.This game will not be played by me. I will just be the spectator. But will the game be played by U.. This game is called the game of life and the player is selected by ME........... Enjoy or maybe Good luck surviving this game.........

NCC EOY camp..... Cant Wait!!!!!!!!

Nyoit Nyoit... Haha.... End Of year Ncc camp is getting near and i cant wait cause i got alot of plans ahahah. Need to bring in ppl in there. BBQ, games, Sleeping it is going to be a blast. Well this week i've just finish my PRElims all my prelims paper. Now just waiting for my N-Level phase two..... Nite study is back up on the 22 sept. This is gonna be fun. Well Z know how to make sushi already and i tasted it yesterday but i think that the sushi can still improve and todae gonna follow Z to imm to buy ingredient for the sushi. Well tomorrow they have an prostage event. I think that they will have a good time. I am bored going out already. Weird feeling i think it is bacause i kept going out till night haiss... Well that is all.. Nyoit Nyoit!!!!!

This Or That Come on make up your mind!!!!!!....

Hey again. and now my problem have just come to me... I think back to the past and i noticed i change alot in terms of my behaviour. From good to bad but i am trying to maintain it but now i am hardheaded. Now i have to make this one decision that is this or that it is a 50-50 win or a 50-50 lose but either way i will still win. Just a bit of ajustment and i am gonna be okay. So now the decision is in my hand but i can't just leave one like that so i and gonna pick both and make sure i treat all of them the same. One problem solved but soon a new problem will rise from the dark. The problem that i dont even imagine of. My worst nightmare will soon begun so just sit back and watch my life as it turns from bright to dull or the other way round.. Changing is hard. I know it bacause i just did it.